potty time

Over the past few days I have encountered some funny instances with various bathrooms, and thought that some of you might appreciate them (especially those of you with "potty humor," all puns intended).

About 2 months ago a brand new Super Target opened one block from my school. For those of you not knowing me very well, I love all things Target, and Super Target is just that, Super! In one quick stop I can do my grocery shopping as well as my regular Target shopping, and not have to deal with running around to a million stores. I digress...

Thursday was pay day, which also equals grocery day, so I headed over to Super Target. Since I had just left work, I realized on my way over that I hadn't peed all day .... literally hadn't gone to the bathroom since about 5:15 that morning. Nearly 12 hours ... but that's what we like to call "teacher bladder." So I headed over to the facilities before I ventured out on my shopping.

When I got to the (conveniently located) restrooms I noticed there was a bit of a line, and not so much a line, as they were shutting down the bathroom for what appeared to be a cleaning. As I was waiting for the unisex bathroom to open up, a shift manager comes over to tell the little minimum-wage-earning Worker Bee that the "problem" was in the women's bathroom, middle stall. Poor Worker Bee then asked the dreaded question, "what is it?" To which the manager looks at me sheepishly and says, "residue." Heaven only knows what "residue" in a women's bathroom could be (I can think of 3 distinct possibilities, none of which are appealing in any way, shape or form). So I go into the unisex one-seater and Minimum-wager Worker Bee goes in to clean the bathroom, and through the ever so thin wall I can hear an arsenal of words that would make a sailor blush. Apparently the "residue" in the bathroom was particularly heinous. Poor Worker Bee doesn't get paid enough to clean stuff like that.

The second story involves photos, but fear not, dear reader, they're not gross. After work on Friday I headed up to some outlet malls in Anthem, Arizona. (Apparently Phoenix is the land of outlets, there are at least 3 that I know if within 45 minutes of each other). Once again, I realized about 30 minutes into my drive that I hadn't relieved myself for approximately 10 hours. So I get to the outlet mall and make a bee-line for the food court to pee and grab an Antie Anne's pretzle (I was hungry, ok?) And to my surprise and delight, encountered the MOST lovely and amazing public restroom. (My aunt tells a story about how nice my male cousins and uncle thought the bathroom at Tiffany & Co. was in NYC, and dare I say, this might be even nicer...)

Each stall had it's own little white slat-board door with a "vacancy" and "occupied" sign that changed when the door was locked. I felt like I was in the Bahamas and had my own little cabana (or like I was at the tanning salon and was going into a tanning booth).


Inside my little potty cabana was amazing! There was plenty of room to manuver around (a plus if you have small children, lots of shopping bags, or just like it to be roomy). Above the toilet was this lovely little shelf for you to store your purse (there also was a hook, if you prefered that) or various purchases you had made that day. There was a grand plenty T.P, seat covers, really, anything you could ask for. AND an automatic flusher!

Across from the sinks was a separate little vanity area. Here, there were plenty of mirrors, tissues, hand lotion and Sunscreen (SPF 30). How impressive is that??? I was so amazed, I, clearly, had to take some pictures. If ever you are driving on the I-17 and need to stop to go potty, go to the Anthem Outlet Mall .... the bathrooms will NOT disappoint.

I think this bathroom more than makes up for the cruddy ones I have encountered in my life...