us v. them

I try not to be too church-y in my posts, I just keep it real (not that being church-y isn't real, I just know that some readers don't share the same views that I do, so I just try to keep it neutral, for all involved).

I choose to attend at congregation of young, single adults aged 18-30. In a faith so centered on families and the importance thereof, we YSA's can sometimes be seen as the "other children." This bugs me to no end.

Why does it have to be "us" and "them?" Yes, it is a choice I have made to attend church with people who are all single, but I do that, because I feel like being a (nearly) 27 year old single girl in a "Family Ward" is extremely depressing. People have the best of intentions, but it never comes across well. I am not one to be easily offended, and really, I'm not, it's just irksome.

A few weeks ago I was invited to a kitchen-gadget party (ugh, why would I need to spend $20 on a pair of bamboo tongs for picking up cheese for fajitas when i have two hands for free on the ends of my perfectly-capable arms??!?!) by a married friend of mine. [as a side note, this couple is incredibly great about staying friends with those of us not fortunate enough to find our eternal companions] Because of the great married/single divide in our church culture, there were only two of us at the party who were single.

Perhaps it was because T and I showed up late (power outage at the restaurant we were at before the party), or because there's the subconscious us/them, T and I were relegated to the back of the party. In fact, we were the only two who were not in the kitchen for the kitchen demonstration. Our chairs were firmly planted in the family, so we could either peer through a doorway or over a half-wall, and I had a post in my way the whole time. Alas.

Then, I get an email from a lady in charge of finding babysitters for a play that the church is putting on. Because I have been newly called as the gal in charge of all the other gals, I am required to find these babysitters for tomorrow night. As nicely as possible, I emailed the lady back and told her I would do my best to find the 3-4 girls she requested, but that there was a Young Single Adult Conference in New York this weekend, and it seems like some of the girls were going. The response from her, and I know it was completely innocent, was "had I known the singles had a conference, I wouldn't have scheduled them for this weekend." The second part of the sentence, very understanding. But there's that hated label "The Singles." Does she not know that I, myself, am one of those people? One of "The Singles?" Like every day of my life I'm not reminded that I don't have a husband. That I can't be working on "fulfilling my measure of creation." That time is tick, tick, ticking away.

But until that time comes, I'll enjoy being single. One. Singular. Alone, but not alone.