other people's dogs

I'm a house sitter. It's one of the many trades I carry with me. I don't know when I first began, but I've watched houses, dogs, cats, turtles, you name it.

This week I find myself at the house of my brother's girlfriends parents. They live on a quiet street in the town I grew up in. They have one dog, Mack, who is about the same age a Jake, my family's fearless pooch.

While everyone insisted upon toting the similarities between Jake and Mack, let it be known that their differences are far more than their similarities. Yes, they are old, and yes, they are dogs, yes they are old, male, dogs, but it stops there.

Jake is well into his years. I think his vigor for life was abruptly halted when a certain cute baby that lives in Jake's house became incredibly mobile. It just so happens that Mason adores Jake, beyond reason, and Jake does not share these feelings, at all. Jake spends his days sleeping, sleeping and sleeping. The biggest decision Jake has to make during the day is which couch to sleep on. He often needs to be coaxed off of the couch, or out of bed just to go outside, because the dog has a bladder of steel.

In Jake's defence, he has some health issues. He's got bad hips, which makes it difficult for him to go up and down stairs, and he lacks tear ducts in his eyes, which causes his eyes to goop and crust over, rendering him nearly blind, nearly all of the time. Unless someone is vigilantly cleaning his eyes out and putting in his eye drops, he has a hard time seeing.

Now, back to this bladder of steel. Jake can easily go 12-13 hours without needing to go outside. We've gone on day trips to Pittsburgh and left him in the house, no problems. So here I was thinking the same thing everyone else was telling me, that Jake and Mack would be the same dog.

Not so.

Mack has much more energy than Jake (read: he's annoying has heck). He begs for food, needs to go outside every 20 minutes, wants to play, and never leaves you alone. Also, he farts.

I'm talking big, nasty, stinky farts. Farts so bad, in fact, I was awoken the other night at 2am to the smell of dog farts. It was so bad, I needed to vacate the room, go into another bedroom, shut the door and pray he didn't find a way in. I even did a 2am cursory search on the floor for any presents that might be the cause of such a smell. I am happy to report there wasn't any poop, just farts.

I'm convinced I smell like dog farts. I smell them everywhere: in other parts of the house he hasn't been, at yoga, at school, outside. These farts haunt me.

I will say, he's calmed down a bit. He's still taking advantage of me and only doing his business if I take him on a walk (which, surprise, he's a terrible walker, and thus, nobody ever takes him on a walk).

It's been a long week, and will be over on Tuesday. Tuesday and a check can't come soon enough.