in which i go to the eye doctor

Today was my annual visit to the eye doctor. I actually really enjoy going to the eye doctor (and the dentist, too). I always see the eye doctor like some kind of magic wizard with a fancy chair with all sorts of tables and whos-its and whats-its attached. All of those lenses on the walls are so appealing to me. And I sometimes covet the entire drawer full of contact lens cases, simply because I always seem to break, lose or destroy mine.

My whole family as been a patient at our eye doctors office since we set foot in Ohio. My brother even dated the Good Doctor's daughter in high school. Dr. K is quite a meek and timid man. He looks a bit mousy (did more so with his mustache, which he has shaved off in the last half of a decade). Because Dr. K is so timid, I always get a case of verbal diarrhea when I'm around him. He doesn't typically do much on his end of conversation, so the next thing I know I'm telling him about my hopes and dreams and what I ate for breakfast three weeks ago. He's become much better over the years, and even told me today that there was something different about me. He guessed my hair, and even said that it suits me well. How kind of him!

I find the eye doctor, however, to be tricky business. Since I never really know what he's doing on his side of the giant binoculars, I can't ever tell if I'm getting the answer right. A or B, 1 or 2, C or D, this all gives me anxiety. Because what if I think that one thing is the right answer, but it's really the wrong answer and totally discordant with what my complaints are. Like somehow Dr. K is going to catch me in a lie or something. Plus, these are my eyes we're talking about here, folks. One wrong answer and my vision will be off for a year!

Let us also talk about this dilating the eye business. First, I didn't ever realize that one could opt out of having ones eyes dilated. So yes, every year I get my eyes dilated. And every year I am freaked out when Dr. K shines a light in my eye and I can see all of my blood vessels. Creepsville!

But my most favorite part of the visit was picking out new glasses! I've had the same pair of frames since I was a junior in high school. My current frames were hand selected for me, and I was even in an ad which ran in the Cleveland Plain Dealer and the Playhouse Square playbills (don't ask me if I have a copy of the ad, I currently can't find mine). So needless to say, I'm overdue for new frames.

My goal is to eventually be one of those crazy old bats who wears giant round glasses. So I've stepped away from my rectangle frames into the world of rounder frames. I'm pretty stinking excited about them. It's just this wait that is going to drive me crazy!