a [wet] false alarm

As most of you know, my sister is due to have a baby boy in roughly 28 days. It is true: as of the day of his birth, we can now crown a new "Aunt of the Year" (and that would be me -- I have huge plans for this kid).

Whilst talking to my mom yesterday afternoon, in her creepy voice that makes me wonder which one of my moms I'm talking to, she says:

Mom: Soooo, did you talk to your sister today???
Me: Uh, yeah. I talk to her every morning on the way to work.
Mom: So you heard the news? [which at this point, I didn't know which news was the news she was referring to, so instead of potentially throwing someone under the bus for something we were keeping a secret, I responded,]
Me: Oh, what news?
Mom: Well, that your sister thought her water broke, of course.
Me: No, I didn't hear that -- is she in labor?
Mom: Well, no, actually she isn't. She was at a restaurant with her boss and her work partner and she got up from a plastic seat and there was some moisture.
Me: You mean like she had butt-sweat?
Mom: She didn't know what it was, so, naturally, she called me, and then Ryan, and then her doctor. I wasn't able to answer the phone, and luckily her doctor was still in the office, so she went in to get checked out.
Me: ...and is she dilated?
Mom: No. Not at all.
Me: Oh good, 'cause that baby can't come until I move home.
Mom: Well, she can't go toooo late, because I'm leaving for Ireland [which is a whole different story in itself, which will be for another day]
Me: So what really happened in the restaurant? Butt sweat? Did she pee her pants?
Mom: Probably.

Upon talking to my sister later, who is much more sane than said mother, she tells me that it wasn't nearly as dramatic as that. Really, she peed her pants.