we can't all be southern belles -- with an edit

Perhaps it's because of my chosen major, or the fact that I'm a major nerd, but I like the English language. I like lexicon. I like diction. I like connotation. I like denotation. I like accents. I like grammar. I like words. I like regional differences. I love it all.

Having spend a good part of my life in the Midwest (where, it is thought the most perfect version of American English is spoken, thank you very much) I think I'm sensitive to other regions accents and general verbiage. The long vowels of New England. The harsh consonants of the West. The lazy drawl of the South.

And about that lazy Southern drawl ... I'm charmed by it. Maybe it's because I spent so much time in the deep south, or maybe because some of my fondest memories come from the south, but I like it. On certain people. Under certain circumstances. I guess you could say it's conditional.

One habit I picked up in the South was the all too familiar "y'all." I admit, I use it. Not as much as I did when I was in the South (when in Rome, right?!) but the y'all will make an appearance every now and then. Mostly in the classroom, and mostly to the ridicule of my students. Thus, I try not to use it much.

And I really do try not to use it. I recognized that I have no rights to "y'all." I wasn't born there, and I only spent just under a year there. I cannot claim it. So I try not to.

However, this is not the case with a few of my acquaintances. One acquaintance lived for a short time in the southern part of Virginia, the other, to the best of my knowledge, hasn't spent any sizable amount of time below the Mason-Dixon line. Yet both of these girls use y'all incessantly. To the point where I am upset at myself for using it. I want to wash my mouth out with red Lava soap, just like Ralphy did in A Christmas Story, every time it slips out. It seems so foul.

Now, I recognize that we are often lazy with the way we speak. Words slur together, consonants are dropped, words completely omitted or changed ("should have" instead of "should of". I see this all the time with my students! UGH!). However, when someone starts to write these lazy slurs into emails, facebook messages and papers, it becomes inexcusable.

It's not cute; it makes you look uneducated. In my opinion, the way we speak and the way we write should rarely, if ever, over lap.

That is why you will never, ever see me write y'all in any context (except, of course this one). And especially not "y'alls." And if you do, please find the largest cleaver and whack my hands off. I don't deserve to use them anymore to produce language.

**Edit***

This post was not to discourage anyone from embrasing their inner Southern Belle. It was just a reminder to me that I am no Southern Belle. So y'all, keep up the good work ;)